"Teardrop"

[Liz Fraser]

Love, love is a verb
Love is a doing word
Fearless on my breath
Gentle impulsion
Shakes me makes me lighter
Fearless on my breath

Teardrop on the fire
Fearless on my breath

Nine night of matter
Black flowers blossom
Fearless on my breath
Black flowers blossom
Fearless on my breath

Teardrop on the fire
Fearless on my breath

Water is my eye
Most faithful mirror
Fearless on my breath
Teardrop on the fire of a confession
Fearless on my breath
Most faithful mirror
Fearless on my breath

Teardrop on the fire
Fearless on my breath

Stumbling a little
Stumbling a little

~~~~~~~~~

"I Miss You"- bjork

i miss you
but i haven't met you yet
so special
but it hasn't happened yet
you are gorgeous
but i haven't met you yet
i remember
but it hasn't happened yet

and if you believe in dreams
or what is more important
that a dream can come true
i will meet you

i was peaking
but it hasn't happened yet
i haven't been given
my best souvenir
i miss you
but i haven't met you yet
i know your habits
but wouldn't recognize you yet

and if you believe in dreams
or what is more important
that a dream can come true
i will meet you

i'm so impatient
i can't stand the wait
when will i get my cuddle?
who are you?

i know by now that you'll arrive
by the time i stop waiting

i miss you

My new home

i feel like this should be my home. maybe it is.

...city girl turned country...

after a vacation drive from san antonio, austin, dallas, little rock and then my tiny town of eureka springs i was thinking about how much i love living in eureka springs. mainly i was thinking of how much i was wrapped in my city mind when i lived in the big city. the city has consumerism written all over it and after driving down many stretches of long highway i saw how every town becomes the same with their super strip malls filled with bed bath and beyonds, old navy and starbucks stores. i felt a need to buy and go shopping while visiting there. i really was awaken to the fact that when i lived in dallas and portland all i ever wanted to do was shop and get the latest trendy fashions, makeup and "stuff" i really do not need. after moving to eureka springs (population of 2,000) i was able to forget about all of that "wanting" and learn to live with the few special things i have. first of all these days my economy does not allow for me to shop anymore because all the money i make goes towards food and paying bills. second of all i just do not have that "wanting" need anymore to go out and buy stuff that i really do not need. as a matter of fact, i did go shopping on black friday with family members- hey, its what all the women in my family were doing.....but i found my self overwhelmed with wanting and i even picked up a dress and put it back on the rack 3-4 times in different parts of the store until i finally realized i was being sucked in. i did not get the dress. and you know what- i am damn proud of myself. so each city we drove through it was the same thing- strip malls, shopping and more and more cars. i was happy to go through the little stretch of one lane highway that rolls through the bigger of the surrounding small towns outside of eureka and i began to see more mom and pop locally owned stores and people wearing overalls and mix matchced thrift store clothing at gas stations. i am proud to have recognized my brainwashing i received in the city and proud of the fact that i am scorpio and always clearing and renewing my surroundings. i am proud of the past year of clearing my home and material things of the things that have no real value and have control over me from my attachments to them. i understand that there are still a few things that i am very attached to, but can learn to become non attached and just enjoy having them even if they may get stolen or lost one day. i can be unattached to my fabulous rock and natural earth elements collection and my very first guitar. i can be unattached to my books and meditation chime. i can be unattached to my wanting and needing urges to go shopping and become the ultimate consumerized american. i love my town of zero stop lights and custom locally owned stores. i am proud of my town of eclectic artists and old hippies, of crooked sidewalks and small town politics. i am more than loving to our sense of community and feelings of family when i go anywhere in town. i love the fact that anywhere i go i see someone i like and everyone knows everyone. i will always miss my friends and relationships i made with others in the city, but the country is where i belong now and soon i will even have the goat and chickens to prove it. thank you eureka springs for finding the time to show me these things. i am forever grateful for you.

i used to be emily dickinson

MY cocoon tightens, colors tease,
I ’m feeling for the air;
A dim capacity for wings
Degrades the dress I wear.
A power of butterfly must be	5
The aptitude to fly,
Meadows of majesty concedes
And easy sweeps of sky.
So I must baffle at the hint
And cipher at the sign,	10
And make much blunder, if at last
I take the clew divine. -emily dickinson

wishful thinking

wishful thinking.

i wish for more:
long conversations, rainstorms with the house windows open, hints of vanilla, unique colors, funny sounds, snappy dance moves, times of remembering, star gazing, laughs from the children, walks on the beach, treasures while hiking, songs about dancing, hand me downs from that cool girl, photos found in nooks and crannies, warmth, timelessness, sweet treats, poems from the heart, and more of what i need most.

scorpios create

especially with a full or new moon my scorpio creativty wanders. i have been working on so many projects lately. most recent consisted of a two year work where i poured my heart, life and soul to an audience telling my STORY OF A HEART. also recently, my youth theatre class performed POE!POE!POE! tales of edgar allan poe. i held a post it note art show at my new studio space in downtown eureka springs, where artists near and far contributed to an art wall covered in about 400 post its. i am currently working on directing the youth theatre class christmas play, preparing for the annual downtown christmas parade in which my classes are performing in, and getting ready for end of term recitals at the studio. (and my husband tells me i am always stressed and take on too many things.....really now)

mostly lately my mind has been spacing out on the idea of a new modern dance production. so i have been researching steampunk fashion and culture. its facinating and anyone should check it out. i am now slightly obsessed with it. that and breakdancing...

so think a mix of my favorite story- alice in wonderland meets steampunk while telling its story through the music of nine inch nails and live modern dance. needless to say, my mind is occupied. i wanted to document this whole process of creating a show, get my daily mind wanderings out, and share some of my writing with whom wants to hear. i have always loved to write and will continue daily as a stress relief practice for my sanity. here ye, here ye can keep up with this evolving mind and read with extreme openness and compassion. because that is what it is going to take to read my blogs, so subscribe if you will...and follow my scorpio creativity

and empathic, jealous, passionate ones too!